Years ago when I was taking courses from University Associates around how to facilitate groups, a wise instructor, Larry Porter, said these three words: trust the process. I have never forgotten them. They have been my anchor at critical times when in a team building session the conversation seems about to get out of hand. This raises the level of anxiety not only within the team but also in the facilitator.
The “worst case” fear (and isn’t that the one that we always bring to the fore whenever we worry?), of course, is that harsh words will be said, relationships will be damaged, and the team will suffer irreparable harm. What Larry taught us was to guard against acting too quickly simply to reduce our own anxiety.
He said that groups are endowed with a built-in gyroscope. They have a remarkable capacity to self-regulate when things become too hot. They possess an innate sense of how much conflict the group can handle and they pull back when that limit is reached. I have seen this again and again over the years as groups have regularly surprised me (and frequently themselves, for that matter). They are almost always more capable to grow and stretch in terms of human dynamics than they appear to be.
This doesn’t mean that it’s OK for the facilitator to sit off to the side and watch the team implode. You do have to listen to your experience and intuition as to when to intervene, if necessary.
Whether you are a team leader or a facilitator, when the group starts to rise to a new level of openness and candidness, by all means be vigilant but also be willing to sit with your anxiety. Allow your group’s to gyro kick in and watch the team shift to a higher degree of performance potential.
Remember, it’s about building their capacity, not maintaining your personal comfort level.