I recently had the opportunity to hear author Meg Wheatley speak about her book, Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future (Berrett-Koehler, 2002). She reminded me of a very important lesson about the power of community.
Senegal, Africa, with a population of 8.5 million, ranks as one of the worst countries in the world for high poverty, inadequate health care and lack of formal education. However, in Senegal where you would think despair and hopelessness prevail, there is no such thing as suicide. Suicide literally doesn’t exist in Senegal; yet in our country, it is the 11th leading cause of death.
If you ask a villager in Senegal why this startling statistic is true they will tell you,
“Because we have each other. If someone is hungry, we feed them; if someone is homeless we house them; if someone is hurting, we take care of them.”
That is the power of community.
I experienced this phenomenon three years ago when I went through my cancer journey. My network not only fed my family with meals they brought to my home during my six months of treatment, but they also fed my soul. More than 250 people – many I did not know well or hadn’t talked to in years – sent me cards and e-mails, and added me to prayer lists. My daughters collected all of these notes and put them in a large three-ring binder with a cover that said, “Mom’s Cancer Blessings.”
There is an old fable about a man who was given the opportunity to visit both heaven and hell. The first place he saw was hell. He was taken to a large banquet table where hundreds of starving people were sitting. The table was loaded with mouth-watering food and yet the souls who sat there were starving. The visitor noted that each person had a long-handled spoon chained to his or her wrist. The handles were so long that whenever they tried to feed themselves, the food spilled on the table. The frustrated and angry faces of the people made it clear that they were truly suffering.
Then, the visitor asked to see heaven. Although he was feeling very depressed by what he had just seen in hell, he was shown another long banquet table. The souls also had long-handled spoons chained to their wrists, but there were hundreds of well-fed, happy people. The difference, he quickly noted, was that the people in heaven were using the long-handled spoons to feed each other.
What are you doing to build community: Are you feeding each other or just yourself?
Perfecting Connecting® Action Steps:
1. Look for ways to serve others in your network. It might be as small as offering to make a telephone call, sending an e-mail blast out to your list to introduce someone or simply giving your friendship by sitting down to really listen to someone who has a need. Small acts can produce great results.
2. Look for opportunities to build community. Bring people together who you think could support each other either personally or professionally.
3. Always ask yourself, how could I be a resource to this person? Often it’s something that is easy or effortless for you, but exactly what that person needs.
Feed each other,
