Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.
-Norman Vincent Peale
A big factor in how people judge you in your interactions, meetings, transactions and presentations is based on your likeability or perceived likeability.
Theodore Roosevelt stated, “The most important single ingredient in the formula for success is knowing how to build rapport and connect with others.”
Likewise, Nigel Lythgoe, one of the judges on the show, So You Think You Can Dance, stated, “It’s not necessarily the best dancers who win; it’s the ones they like the most.”
For example, presenters who understand this concept have been shown to get much higher ratings on their evaluations than those who don’t.
This idea became apparent to Arnold early in his career as a professional speaker. After applying to become a presenter at a seminar training company, Arnold was flown out to the company headquarters to deliver a twenty-minute trial presentation. Upon entering the room to give his presentation, the company’s president approached him, looked him in the eye, and said, “Arnold, I only hire speakers I really like. I would rather hire a good speaker who everyone likes, has good interpersonal skills, and gets along with others than a great speaker who is arrogant, does not connect, and is low on the emotional intelligence scale.”
Think about that. How many times have you seen a speaker who was not very good, but you really liked him? You probably gave him a good rating, regardless of the quality of the presentation. On the other hand, how many times have you seen an excellent speaker who came off arrogant, unfriendly, and aloof? Many of these speakers get poor ratings regardless of how well they deliver their presentations.
So, here are some steps you can take to boost your Likeability IQ:
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Become genuinely interested in others.
- Treat everyone like a long lost friend.
- Make others feel important and do it sincerely.
- Include everyone who is present in your conversations.
- Don’t complain.
- Don’t criticize or condemn.
- Show appreciation.
- Use people’s names in your conversations.
- Find things in common with others.
- Avoid arguments.
- Show you care.
- Be reliable-do what you say you are going to do.
- Be responsive.
- Be credible.
- Treat everyone with respect
- See things from the other person’s point of view
- Be interested, not just interesting