If you are trying to gain cooperation from your staff, persuade or influence a client or co-worker, close a sale, make the right impression, ace an interview, or convince an audience, you must first connect with them. Below is a checklist of the active ingredients in creating lasting connections. How many of these are you following on a regular basis?
- Make people your passion
- Be interested, not just interesting
- Be a conscious connector in building positive relationships
- Boost good feelings in others
- Communicate with care and the other person’s feelings in mind
- Engage the interest of others by focusing on what interests them
- Approach each interaction with positive intent
- Take the initiative to reach out to others first
- Project a positive presence (Smile) or (Don’t scowl or frown all the time). Many people walk around with a permanent scowl on their faces and they don’t even realize it
- Be attentive
- Express empathy
- Build trust; mean what you say, and say what you mean
- Adapt how you communicate to best serve what others need
- Act in ways that make people feel valued
- Give feedback, constructively, tactfully and receive it willingly
- Create a sense of safety and openness
- Keep an open mind and an open heart
- Seek to understand how others see a situation (Be empathetic)
- Acknowledge and honor the feelings of others
- Monitor and master your emotions
- Hear people out
- Drop any need to “be right.” It’s not a contest
- Let go of grudges
- Greet people with a smile
- Open your heart when it closes
- Seek peace when others don’t
- Be responsive to what others want or need
- Respect differences
- Let words of caring and kindness work magic
- Don’t take anyone or anything for granted
- Thank people for their help, their time, their service, their thoughtfulness, their caring, and their support
- Act as a catalyst to help others get what they want
- Praise positive behaviors
- Energize the winning spirit
- Give people credit for their ideas
- Express a dazzling attitude, even when it’s difficult
- Build bridges that join; remove walls that separate
- Release negative labels (of yourself or others)
- Speak your truth
- Accept responsibility; avoid playing the blame game
- Forgive others (and yourself) for flubs, faux pas, and foibles
- Light the way with laughter
- Project a cooperative spirit
- Express enthusiasm
- Encourage the expression of gifts, talents and personal excellence
- Model the behaviors you want others to express
- Handle every connection with care and keep them in good repair