Archive | Networking

Keeping Connected in a Connection-Challenged World

Keeping Connected in a Connection-Challenged World

As we increasingly live in the fast lane, a few road signs might be useful to guide us along the way-words warning us when good connections are being overlooked, threatened, or endangered. Some possibilities might include: Yield to Connection, Stop to Connect, or Use Caution … Relationships at Work!

Following these signs could make the paths we travel more satisfying, as well as directing us to some fascinating and fulfilling destinations we might have otherwise missed. These are signs for our times to keep us focused on the proper care required to cultivate good connections.

Our personal “connect-ability” is at risk of erosion more than ever from a culture being transformed by technology and increasing anonymity. The more plugged in we’ve become for the sake of speed and convenience, the more our once-traditional connecting points for personal relationships are disappearing. Our high-tech culture has ushered in bittersweet experiences; it has made connection faster and more fleeting, yet we’re reaping more frequent episodes of disconnected humanity, a danger whose consequences may be more far-reaching than we suspect.

Phone calls and meetings are increasingly replaced by e-mails, which may leave us confused and trying to read between the lines. Complex automatic voice messaging systems wind us through a maze of computer generated prompts, frustrating us when we just want to talk to a living, breathing person who can address our concerns.

Cell phones interrupt personal conversations, disrupt meetings, and block us from conversing with the everyday people passing through our lives. We gas up our cars,pay by credit card, and drive off without a “thank you.” Familiar faces that were once touchstones in our everyday lives-from the banker depositing our paychecks to the travel agent planning our vacations-are increasingly being replaced by automated systems or the Internet.

We now frequently walk, drive, and even fly without noticing or acknowledging the people who are sharing that slice of time and space with us, because we’re too busy conversing with people halfway around the globe. For example, if you were seated or standing next to someone right now, that person could be starved for attention, for any human contact on any level-but how would you know? When we do reach out, we can never guess what effect our connection at that point in time will have on others. Even the briefest encounter can bring someone a moment of much needed comfort or delight.

For many of us, even an instant interaction can make a world of difference in whether we feel connected, visible, and cared about. That’s why it’s even more important to connect with intentionand “show up” to extend our best.

Increasingly, we’re losing the valuable connections of greeting and interacting with the fellow travelers we encounter along life’s complex, multiple networks. Employees whose sole job is to serve customers may barely acknowledge their presence during a transaction. People walk along city streets, shopping malls, supermarket aisles, and office hallways, plugged into wireless networks rather than being wired to the moment and connecting with each other.

As we whirl past one another in dizzying style, frazzled from our fast-paced lifestyles, connectedness can indeed unravel, unless we’re careful to keep weaving connecting threads back to one another. With technology changing the landscape of living, coupled with corresponding changes in today’s cultural fabric, we risk losing something precious-the wondrous slice-of-time adventures with other human beings, the people who show up in our lives and make a difference. These are the most delicious fruits of life’s connections, the unexpected pleasures that flow from people who make us smile, laugh with us, help us out, offer directions, take time to share, save the day, and more.

Personal “connect-ability” is indeed vital, as is our ability to be “hightouch” in the face of frequently more faceless connections. In our increasingly anonymous culture, when someone takes the time to notice, tune in, care about, or fuss over us, that benevolence ripples out in wonderful ways. We’re constantly creating currents of energy that envelope the people with whom we live, work, and share time and space-bathing them in the rich warmth of our kindness, understanding, and appreciation. It’s all part of the interconnected nature of life. But the connections you make can create waves of positive, negative, or neutral
energy. You must decide what message you want to send out to the universe and to all the people in it.

By awakening to the abundant pleasures and joy of joining, you connect at the core of what’s meaningful and makes a difference to others and to your life experience. People connecting to people bring ordinary moments to life through extraordinary acts of valuable, high-touch humanity. When we create that “Wow, you noticed!” experience, a magical bond forms that leaves an enduring impression.

Connect-ability matters, because of the countless ways our connections count. We can nurture or neglect them, relish or reject them, cherish or chuck them. However we handle them, they all add up. We may rather quickly forget neutral experiences that don’t leave an impression on us one way or the other. The bad taste left from negative experiences we likely wish we could forget. But it is the compelling nature of our positive interactions that forge enduring connections-compelling vibrations of dynamic power and vibrancy, created in a place we call “The Connection Zone.”

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47 Ways to Build Valuable Connections … And Make Them Count!

47 Ways to Build Valuable Connections … And Make Them Count!

If you are trying to gain cooperation from your staff, persuade or influence a client or co-worker, close a sale, make the right impression, ace an interview, or convince an audience, you must first connect with them. Below is a checklist of the active ingredients in creating lasting connections.  How many of these are you following on a regular basis?

  • Make people your passion
  • Be interested, not just interesting
  • Be a conscious connector in building positive relationships
  • Boost good feelings in others
  • Communicate with care and the other person’s feelings in mind
  • Engage the interest of others by focusing on what interests them
  • Approach each interaction with positive intent
  • Take the initiative to reach out to others first
  • Project a positive presence (Smile) or (Don’t scowl or frown all the time). Many people walk around with a permanent scowl on their faces and they don’t even realize it
  • Be attentive
  • Express empathy
  • Build trust; mean what you say, and say what you mean
  • Adapt how you communicate to best serve what others need
  • Act in ways that make people feel valued
  • Give feedback, constructively, tactfully and receive it willingly
  • Create a sense of safety and openness
  • Keep an open mind and an open heart
  • Seek to understand how others see a situation (Be empathetic)
  • Acknowledge and honor the feelings of others
  • Monitor and master your emotions
  • Hear people out
  • Drop any need to “be right.” It’s not a contest
  • Let go of grudges
  • Greet people with a smile
  • Open your heart when it closes
  • Seek peace when others don’t
  • Be responsive to what others want or need
  • Respect differences
  • Let words of caring and kindness work magic
  • Don’t take anyone or anything for granted
  • Thank people for their help, their time, their service, their thoughtfulness, their caring, and their support
  • Act as a catalyst to help others get what they want
  • Praise positive behaviors
  • Energize the winning spirit
  • Give people credit for their ideas
  • Express a dazzling attitude, even when it’s difficult
  • Build bridges that join; remove walls that separate
  • Release negative labels (of yourself or others)
  • Speak your truth
  • Accept responsibility; avoid playing the blame game
  • Forgive others (and yourself) for flubs, faux pas, and foibles
  • Light the way with laughter
  • Project a cooperative spirit
  • Express enthusiasm
  • Encourage the expression of gifts, talents and personal excellence
  • Model the behaviors you want others to express
  • Handle every connection with care and keep them in good repair

 

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Create Your Connection Zone to Build Lasting Relationships

Create Your Connection Zone to Build Lasting Relationships

“The Connection Zone is a dynamic balance of energy in which people honor each other’s needs and enjoy the benefits that flow as a result”. – Sandra Strauss

Creating the Connection Zone experience is invaluable for short-term interactions to make enduring impressions (as in customer service), as well as for long-term personal and professional relationships, for sustaining their highly valued, enduring quality.

Whether it’s for the short or long term, the Connection Zone experience is achieved through good communication. You enter “the Zone” by constantly monitoring people’s universal human need to be:

  • Heard and honored
  • Encouraged and empowered
  • Appreciated and accepted
  • Respected and recognized
  • Trusted and treasured

Every person you interact with has many needs that are represented in the HEART acronym. Of course, what we want or need from each other depend on the exact nature of the relationship. For instance, what wedesire from our relationships at work, with our friends and families,
within our community, and in our business transactions have many similarities. Yet, there are differences as to how we want or expect themto be fulfilled.

The following list describes in more detail some of what we want, need, or expect in various types of relationships. (This article is from the book, “Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere” by Arnold Sanow and Sandra Strauss)

In our personal relationships, we want:

  • To know that when we speak, we are heard and understood
  • To have effective, open channels of communication for expressing our concerns
  • To have our feelings, ideas, and opinions honored
  • To be encouraged to express our authentic selves and supported in our growth and development
  • To be accepted unconditionally
  • To be acknowledged for the time, energy, effort, and other personal treasures we share and to be appreciated for them
  • To be treated fairly and with respect
  • To trust that promises and commitments will be fulfilled
  • To be treasured and valued for who we are

In our working relationships, we want:

  • To have effective, open channels of communication for expressing our concerns about work-related matters
  • To have established procedures through which to settle differences and seek resolution
  • To have our ideas and opinions heard and honored
  • To feel empowered and supported in our work environment
  • To be appreciated for our contributions of creativity  effort,  service,and competence on behalf of the organization’s mission and purpose
  • To be treated fairly and with respect
  • To be recognized as a competent and valued member of the organization
  • To trust that promises and commitments will be fulfilled

In our business transactions we want:

  • To be able to express our needs and have them honored
  • To be sufficiently informed that we can make the best choices
  • To be appreciated and valued for our business
  • To be treated fairly and with respect
  • To have confidence that products and services will be  delivered in accordance with agreements, meet our  expectations, and perform reliably
  • To trust that promises and commitments will be fulfilled
  • To air any grievances or concerns and have them heard,  understood, and addresses

Paying attention to these important needs gets you to the heart of what people universally want from their connections, especially from their most significant ones. Good connections are predicated on meeting the needs and expectations of that specific relationship; fulfilling these needs puts you in the Connection Zone.

In the Zone, you explore common interests and needs, express your ideas,and talk about your concerns. Problems are quickly addressed and solutions sought and implemented. Especially for sustaining long-term connections, being in the Zone means that differences are honored and respected in a caring atmosphere of trust and support. Free of the stagnation caused by dysfunctional dynamics, the climate is right for bringing out the best in people and fostering the full expression of their gifts and talents. Everyone in the Zone benefits by feeling good about their relationships and supported in their needs.

When you focus on the HEART of what people want, need, and value, you enter the Zone and attract, sustain, and multiply dynamic relationships.It is pure joy to be in this energized space!

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Boost Your Likeability IQ!

Boost Your Likeability IQ!

Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.
-Norman Vincent Peale

A big factor in how people judge you in your interactions, meetings, transactions and presentations is based on your likeability or perceived likeability.

Theodore Roosevelt stated, “The most important single ingredient in the formula for success is knowing how to build rapport and connect with others.”

Likewise, Nigel Lythgoe, one of the judges on the show, So You Think You Can Dance, stated, “It’s not necessarily the best dancers who win; it’s the ones they like the most.”

For example, presenters who understand this concept have been shown to get much higher ratings on their evaluations than those who don’t.

This idea became apparent to Arnold early in his career as a professional speaker. After applying to become a presenter at a seminar training company, Arnold was flown out to the company headquarters to deliver a twenty-minute trial presentation. Upon entering the room to give his presentation, the company’s president approached him, looked him in the eye, and said, “Arnold, I only hire speakers I really like. I would rather hire a good speaker who everyone likes, has good interpersonal skills, and gets along with others than a great speaker who is arrogant, does not connect, and is low on the  emotional intelligence scale.”

Think about that. How many times have you seen a speaker who was not very good, but you really liked him? You probably gave him a good rating, regardless of the quality of the presentation. On the other hand, how many times have you seen an excellent speaker who came off arrogant, unfriendly, and aloof? Many of these speakers get poor ratings regardless of how well they deliver their presentations.

So, here are some steps you can take to boost your Likeability IQ:

  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • Become genuinely interested in others.
  • Treat everyone like a long lost friend.
  • Make others feel important and do it sincerely.
  • Include everyone who is present in your conversations.
  • Don’t complain.
  • Don’t criticize or condemn.
  • Smile.
  • Show appreciation.
  • Use people’s names in your conversations.
  • Find things in common with others.
  • Avoid arguments.
  • Show you care.
  • Be reliable-do what you say you are going to do.
  • Be responsive.
  • Be credible.
  • Treat everyone with respect
  • See things from the other person’s point of view
  • Be interested, not just interesting

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The Introvert’s Guide to Pain-Free Networking

The Introvert’s Guide to Pain-Free Networking

Let me start by saying that I am not an extrovert, and yet I’ve built my career on networking. It’s opened doors for me, given me critical advice, and when I became an entrepreneur, developed millions of dollars in business for my company.

There’s a common assumption that to be a good networker you need to be a sales type, someone who works the room and feeds on the energy. I’ve found that the majority of great networkers don’t fall into that bucket. Business development is rarely something that we’re trained for, and until we become the rainmaker, we may never have dreamed we’d be doing.

Networking is a critical skill for leaders. It’s virtually impossible for others in the company to have the same type of access that we do to other top executives, and that access is vital to the company’s ability to keep its pulse on the marketplace and generate sales. Most of us already know we should be doing it more, but we don’t make the time because it’s often uncomfortable.

So for all you analytical types out here, the subject matter experts, the operationally minded, or even the just plain shy – take heart. Those skills can all actually work for you. You too can be a great networker, and here’s how.

Use a broad definition of networking. It’s not just about generating sales. Networking yields market intelligence, business advice, new hires, and leadership guidance, to name a few. You can network with former and current customers, business associates, service providers, and even competitors. Many people lament having to find time for business development “in addition to my real job.” I would argue that as a leader, networking IS your real job. When you start looking at it as a critical competence of your company – allowing you to make connections for your clients and be up to speed on their industry – it becomes a different problem to solve.

Honor reciprocity. There is a currency to good networking relationships, or a give and take. Sometimes you give me leads and I give you leads. Other times it’s different but equally valuable, such as I give you information and you give me introductions. It doesn’t matter if you are transferring the same thing; it just has to be balanced and valuable to both parties. When someone does something for you, keep it in mind and be looking for the time you can pay them back. It might not be immediate, but should come eventually. That’s what keeps good networks alive. If you are newly starting and you don’t have much to offer, don’t forget the power of showing appreciation and following up to let the other person know what became of their advice or introductions. People are willing to help when they feel it’s appreciated.

Select a few networking organizations and get deeply involved. In most cities, you could spend every morning and night at a different networking event. You get much more bang for your time if you pick a few quality organizations that directly touch your market, and even better, your specific customer base. Get involved on a committee or a board so you can build real relationships beyond exchanging business cards. Just make sure you make the time to honor your commitment or you can do more damage to your reputation than good.

Attend only high-value networking events and make them worth it. That said, it is helpful to attend some networking events, just select the few that count. Most people envision a room of strangers they have to foist themselves upon. First of all, if you’re involved on a committee of an organization, then that group’s networking events will be filled with people you know. It’s much easier to enter a room where there are friendly faces, and you benefit from introducing each other around. Further, you can often save yourself a lot of lunches by catching up with multiple folks in your network at one place.

If you don’t know anyone at the event, see if you can take a colleague to play wing man, which can make it more comfortable. Instead of trying to meet as many people as possible, focus on having quality conversations with those you do meet.

Constantly evaluate your networking activities. Your time is a limited commodity and you must be vigilant about spending it wisely. On a regular basis assess what you’re getting out of your networking groups or relationships to determine where you may need to make changes. If you are sitting on a professional organization’s committee to get business and you haven’t gotten any, then perhaps it’s not the right use of your time no matter how much you like the people. Networks should evolve and change as your business grows. Never be afraid to call up people who seem out of your league. I am constantly surprised at how generous people can be with their time and advice. People are often honored to be asked their opinion. And on that note, be generous with your own time when people are referred to you. I have found business and help to come from many unexpected places.

Have a system to stay in touch. This is where analytical types have a leg up. You need a system for making sure you get in touch with your network on a regular basis. Keep a good contact system that you regularly look through. I supplement mine with a running Call List of people whose names I add when I think of them. Then on a regular basis I work through the list by scheduling lunches, coffees, or just sending an email. Don’t just contact people when you need something. Sometimes you need to approach a networking meeting with what you can give rather than just what you receive.

Finally, from me, a personal thank you out there to all the people in my network who have helped me over the years. Gratitude abounds.

Author’s Note: Content originally appeared in author’s column on Entrepreneur.com

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Build Lasting Connections for Fortune and Friendships

Build Lasting Connections for Fortune and Friendships

Building successful, well-tended relationships is a crucial component for manifesting abundance, whether in the form of fortunes, friendships, family connectedness, or other personal or professional treasures.

Getting along skillfully with people colors your world with a vibrant network of connections, enriching your relationships with a never-ending collection of infinite rewards.

Cultivating enduring connections requires an unyielding commitment as a Conscious Connector in every interaction. The investment of your time, energy, and effort in doing so produces a priceless legacy-a combination of how well and how often you’ve listened, encouraged, and supported others; empowered them to express their best; recognized and appreciated their gifts, talents, and contributions; respected their feelings and honored their ideas and opinions; preserved their trust by keeping promises; acted with integrity; and valued them so they know their wellbeing is your priority.

Keep a vigilant eye on the quality of your connections, because the quality of your total life experience is directly linked to that network. Regularly assess your determination to infuse an enduring value into your relationships to make them thrive and flourish.

Based on the book, “Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere” by Arnold Sanow and Sandra Strauss are you answering “yes” to all of the questions below:

· Are you making good connections a daily priority?

· Do your words and actions usually prompt positive responses from others?

· When problems arise, do you seek solutions that hold the greatest possibility of satisfying mutual needs?

· Do you claim your fair share of mistakes, misunderstandings, or other misbehaviors and seek to repair them?

· Do you constantly monitor what’s important to people in every arena of your influence and explore ways to honor those needs?

· Can people count on you? Do you keep your promises?

· Does every member of your family know how much you care and value them? If yes, how do you know for certain? If you’re not sure, what might you do to demonstrate how much each family member is valued, appreciated, and treasured?

· Do your business associates, friends, and others realize how much you appreciate their talents, friendship, support, and investment of their personal energy? What are some ways you might acknowledge how much you value them and their contributions?

· Have you experienced a “falling out” with someone, resulting in unfinished business? If so, what might you do to repair, heal, or restore it?

· Are you holding a grudge or resentment toward anyone? If so, how is it serving your best interests? How long do you want to stay connected to that experience? What conditions make it difficult to forgive those involved and let it go?

· Is there any relationship that’s not working as well as you’d like? What might you do to improve it?

· Do you have a special way of adding your personal signature of uniqueness to your working relationships-special things you do to create good feelings with your colleagues and customers? If not, how might you add your own special signature for creating an enduring impression? What might further fortify your unforgettable nature that reinforces your values?

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Breaking the Ice

Breaking the Ice

Recently a brilliant friend and colleague described to me how she felt attending a professional meeting where she didn’t know anyone sitting around her as being, “awkward and painful,” when she found herself at a loss for how to break the ice with someone she doesn’t know. Here was someone who has so much to offer anyone lucky enough to engage in conversation with her but her reluctance to initiate interaction caused her to avoid eye contact and retreat inward and miss out on the potential network relationships sitting around her. These are the people that keep me up at nights.

I have had a life-long fascination with people who have a natural preference for introversion and think that they’re really bad at breaking the ice and talking to people they don’t know. These people (you know who you are) also think their bad at networking which couldn’t be farther from the truth. In my experience, they may not work the room and come away with the most business cards but the few people they do meet they will make a meaningful connection with that actually has a high chance of continuing on after the first meeting. That is how you build a great network, one relationship at a time.

In today’s constantly changing, crazy busy world, your success will be determined by the breadth of people you know and how quickly you can get the information or resource you need to do your job faster, better or easier. The more people you meet who live in worlds you don’t even know about yet, the stronger your network will be. No matter if you’re breaking the ice online or in person, how you phrase your first opening question to capture the attention of the receiver is critical because you have less than 15 seconds to do it. People are moving at warp speed and you simply won’t break through the million thoughts running through their mind or get them to stop and pay attention to you if you’re not compelling.

Here are ten proven ice breakers to help you break in and make out with anyone, anywhere, anytime:

• “This is my first time at a meeting like this, how about you?”
• “Tell me about yourself and how you spend most of your time?
• “What has been the best part of your week so far?”
• “What do you like doing when you’re not at work?”
• “What do you love about your profession?”
• “What’s the most interesting project you’ve worked on in the past year?
• “What keeps you up at night, what’s your biggest challenge?”
• “What’s your number one customer’s biggest concern right now?”
• “Who do you most admire in your company and why?”
• “What do you wish your coworkers really knew about you?”

I hope these ice breakers will give you the confidence to start conversations that will lead to amazing connections and opportunities for you if you’re willing to give it a try.

The world is waiting to meet you!

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Connecting With Your Body

Connecting With Your Body

Since so many of you liked last month’s blog post (Connect In Before You Connect Out) about the importance of authenticity when connecting, I thought I would go a little deeper on the concept of connecting inward before you connect outward.   There really is truth in the age-old wisdom of treating your body as the sacred temple.  The more you care for it, the better it can serve you. Continue Reading

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How Good Is Your Get Along IQ?

How Good Is Your Get Along IQ?

Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5 on the statements below:

1-Never
2-Almost never
3-Sometimes
4-Almost always
5-Always Continue Reading

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Connect In Before You Connect Out

Connect In Before You Connect Out

One of the things I love the most about traveling around and speaking at conferences and meetings about Perfecting Connecting ® is the conversations I have afterward with audience members.  They often start with, “I really would like to be a better networker and connector but I’m so bad at it!” People have a very warped idea about what true networking really is.  Most people have been victims of transactional networking or as I like to call it “drive-by networking” where the person is only talking to you to get something from you, which is not about connecting.   It has turned off a lot of people to networking and this approach will kill your social capital with your network. Continue Reading

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Networking For Life

Networking For Life

I was so excited about my book recommendation this month, “Never Eat Alone,” and the great connecting strategies that author Keith Ferrazzi openly shares in this truly “must-read” book. And then Hurricane Katrina struck.

Since this tragedy more than 10 days ago, I have witnessed the power of effective networking and the healing arms of great connectors. Then I realized this month’s focus had to change. As my good friend Kappy said, “Sarah, there’s an elephant in the room and you can’t ignore it.” Continue Reading

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50 Ways to Creating Enduring Connections

50 Ways to Creating Enduring Connections

Wouldn’t you agree that life is about quality connections? Our success, happiness, and well-being are largely the by products of our ability to get along well with others and cultivate positive relationships. Below is a checklist of the active ingredients in creating enduring connections. These are from the book, “Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere … 8 keys to creating enduring connections with customers, co-workers … even kids” by Arnold Sanow and Sandra Strauss Continue Reading

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Connecting For A Change

Connecting For A Change

Change is one of those funny words. You either love it or loath it. Some people are hardwired for change and embrace it for the new possibilities it brings and others dread it. Like it or not…change has become a way of life for all of us.

I find it fascinating how long we put up with something that we don’t like or know isn’t working anymore because we simply don’t want to go through the effort of changing it. So when my webmaster told me four months ago that it was time to redesign my website and ezine template to reflect the change in my business focus, I wined. I knew she was right but I dreaded the amount of time, energy and money it would take to change everything. Continue Reading

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What Makes Other People Tick?

What Makes Other People Tick?

Establishing a sense of congruence or similarity with other people is an important element of building rapport. When you understand other people, and are attuned to their needs and desires, they are more likely to feel as though you’re on the same wavelength. Continue Reading

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Are You Connecting with Others?

Are You Connecting with Others?

“There are four ways and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated, perceived and classified by; what we do, how we look; what we say, and how we say it” Dale Carnegie

To make sure you are projecting a positive and connecting image here is a quick checklist from the book, “Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere .. 8 keys to creating enduring connections with customers, co-workers .. even kids” by Arnold Sanow and Sandra Strauss.

Are you making good eye contact? Do your eyes convey warmth and vitality?

How close are you standing with your conversation companions? Stand within the range of the comfort zone for the interaction. In the USA this is usually 14 inches to 4 feet. Continue Reading

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Shall We Meet Again

Shall We Meet Again

Summer is almost here which means if you’re a member of a professional association there is a good chance you will have an opportunity to attend your annual convention or conference in the near future. Even companies who cancelled their annual meetings last year due to the poor economy are back on track this year because…meetings matter. Continue Reading

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